The Grey Content Problem: Why Your Message Sounds Like Everyone Else (And How to Fix It)
You've got the offer. You've refined your positioning. You've even worked with copywriters.
But when you hit publish, something's off. The words don't sound like you. And worse, they don't land with the people you're trying to reach.
Here's what most creators get wrong: They think they have a clarity problem. A "finding my voice" problem.
But after 15 years as a writer and copywriter, plus my training as a journalist and certified interrogator with Wicklander Zulawski, I can tell you: You don't have a voice problem. You have a depth problem.
The Real Reason Everything Sounds the Same Now
Something shifted in the last two years. The content landscape didn't get louder, it got grey.
Everyone started using the same AI prompts, the same templates, the same frameworks. The result? Every creator in your space sounds like a slightly different version of the same person.
Your audience can't tell you apart anymore. Not because your offer doesn't work, but because your words have blended into background noise.
When I work with creators who say, "I just need help with my messaging," what they're really saying is, "I know what I want to say, but when I try to say it, it comes out sounding like everyone else."
That's not a copywriting problem. That's a connection problem.
The Interrogation Technique That Changed Everything
My interrogation training taught me something that transformed how I approach messaging: People rarely say what they actually mean the first time.
In interrogation, you learn to listen for what's underneath the surface statement. The real concern. The actual fear. The true motivation.
The same applies to your audience.
When they say, "I need to grow my audience," that's not the real problem. When they say, "I want better systems," that's not what's keeping them up at night.
Your job isn't to respond to what they say. It's to understand what they mean.
The Shift From Story-First to Human-First
Here's the pattern I see constantly on coaching calls:
A creator tells me they've followed all the "best practices."
They've:
Crafted their story.
Defined their niche.
Created their content pillars.
Even hired support.
But they still struggle because everything they learned started with the wrong premise:
Tell your story to connect.
Connection doesn't start with your story. It starts with theirs.
Not their demographics. Not their "pain points." Their actual lived experience in the moments that matter.
This is what human-first messaging is about: understanding the real human on the other side of the screen, not just the avatar in your spreadsheet.
What Your People Are Really Struggling With
Most messaging addresses what people say their problem is:
"I want to lose weight and get healthy."
"I want better systems."
"I'm working on my marketing strategy."
But purchasing decisions aren't made at that surface level.
They're made in the tension between who someone is right now and who they're trying to become.
Current Self: "I create great content but no one's buying."
Future Self: "I'm someone people invest in and take seriously."
The Real Struggle: "What if I'm not actually as good as I think I am?"
When you learn to speak to that tension, that identity struggle, your messaging stops sounding like marketing and starts sounding like understanding.
The Journalist's Eye for What Actually Matters
Journalism taught me to look for the real story beneath the press release. To ask the question nobody else is asking. To find the human angle that makes people actually care.
The same skills apply to messaging.
Most creators' messaging is nothing more than written press releases about themselves. Feature lists. Benefit statements. Surface-level transformations.
But the real story, the one that makes people stop and pay attention, is always about the human struggle underneath.
It's not "I help entrepreneurs scale."
It's, "You're working more hours than you ever did at your day job, and you can't even complain because everyone thinks you're living the dream."
That's the real story. That's the human-first approach. And that's what connects.
The Three Levels That Actually Drive Decisions
Think about your own decision-making. When you're considering an investment, there are three conversations happening:
Level 1: What you say out loud, "I'm looking at messaging strategy options."
Level 2: What you admit to yourself, "My current approach isn't working and I'm frustrated."
Level 3: What keeps you up at 3 AM, "What if I can't figure this out and I have to admit this whole thing was a mistake?"
Most messaging speaks to Level 1.
Some speaks to Level 2.
But purchasing decisions happen at Level 3.
The creators converting consistently have stopped trying to be clever or comprehensive. They've started going deeper into actual human psychology.
The Strategic Question Most Creators Ask
On a recent coaching call, a creator asked me about building her website. She's smart, capable, knows her stuff. But here's what I asked her:
"Before you build the website, where are you sending traffic? Because a website is for nurturing, but you can only nurture for so long if you have no conversion event."
She realized she'd been so focused on looking professional that she'd skipped the strategic layer: What's the psychology of the human landing on my page, and what do they need to hear in that exact moment to take action?
That's not about prettier words or better design.
That's about understanding where someone is psychologically when they find you, and what needs to shift for them to move forward.
Voice vs. Tone (And Why It Matters More Than You Think)
Related to who you're talking to is how you talk to them. Here's something most creators don't realize: Your voice stays consistent, but your tone shifts based on where your people are psychologically.
Your voice is your through-line—the 3-5 characteristics that make you sound like you, always.
But your tone changes based on:
How warm your audience is (do they know you or are they cold traffic?).
Where they are in their journey (struggling, ready to invest, or somewhere between).
What platform you're on (the psychology of someone on LinkedIn is different from Instagram).
When you understand this distinction, you stop trying to write the perfect words and start asking the strategic question, "What does this person need to hear right now, in this moment, to feel understood?"
The Landing Page Before Website Strategy
Beyond who and how is what and when. This came up on a call recently, and it's worth emphasizing:
Most creators build backwards. They create a beautiful website, perfect brand colors, comprehensive about page, and then wonder why traffic isn't converting.
Here's the strategic sequence that actually works:
Social proof (so people know you're real and active).
Landing page with free opt-in (to capture emails and provide value).
Email nurture sequence (to build trust with consistency).
Sales page or website (once you have somewhere strategic to send people).
Why this order? Human psychology.
A website is great for people who are already interested and want to learn more. But most people finding you aren't there yet. They need something specific, valuable, and low-risk to take the first step.
What Changes When You Go Deeper
And what unites who, what, when, where, why and how? Human-First Messaging. When you stop trying to "tell your story better" and start understanding the humans you serve at a deeper level:
Your messaging becomes specific enough that only your people respond.
Price resistance decreases because you're speaking to identity transformation, not just problem-solving.
Content creation gets easier because you know exactly what they need to hear.
Conversion increases because trust was built through actual understanding.
The Work Most Creators Don't Know They Need To Do
The creators who stand out aren't the ones with the best templates or the most polished presence.
They're the ones who've done the human-first work to understand:
What their person is really struggling with (not just what they say).
The identity gap between current reality and desired future.
The fears that keep them up at night.
The exact language that makes someone think, "Finally, someone gets it."
This isn't surface-level audience research. This is interrogation-level depth work. And most people won't do it because it's uncomfortable to sit with someone's real struggles instead of just addressing surface problems.
But when you're willing to go there, that's when everything changes.
Where to Start
If your messaging isn't landing, stop trying to fix the words. Start asking deeper questions:
Not: "How do I write a better headline?"
But: "What's happening in my person's head in the moment they see this?"
Not: "What's my unique value proposition?"
But: "What identity transformation am I really offering?"
Not: "How do I stand out?"
But: "What do I understand about the human I serve that others don't see?"
The answers to these questions will give you messaging that doesn't just inform, it connects. And connection is what converts.
Your offer isn't broken. Your message is just buried beneath surface-level thinking.
What I've shared here will improve your messaging. You'll start speaking to identity struggles instead of surface problems. You'll access deeper psychological layers. You'll stand out in the grey.
But here's what this article can't teach you:
How to systematically uncover these insights for any audience using interrogation-level techniques.
The specific frameworks that turn psychological depth into conversion-ready messaging.
How to build an entire messaging ecosystem around human-first connection.
This is exactly what we do in the CONNECT Method—an 8-week intensive where you master the psychology-based frameworks that create messaging people can't ignore.
You'll learn:
The complete system for accessing 3 AM thoughts (not just guessing).
How to map identity struggles that predict purchasing decisions.
The interrogation techniques that uncover what people actually mean.
Frameworks for turning insights into words that convert.
How to ethically use depth without manipulation.
Plus ongoing support in the Human-First Messaging Lab with daily feedback, weekly coaching, and a community of creators doing this deep work.
