What If Your "Smart" Business Move Is Actually Keeping You Stuck?
You changed your whole offer because someone told you it needed to be more real.
More solid. More specific. More professional.
You had something working. People were responding. They were engaging. They were showing up. But it didn't fit the formula you'd been taught. So you changed direction. You got more specific. You made it "strategic."
And now?
Now you're stuck in a business that doesn't feel like yours. You're talking to people who aren't actually there. And you're wondering why nothing works the way it used to.
The Pressure to Be "Professional"
Jennifer came to a coaching call a few weeks ago with a problem I see all the time.
She'd been building something powerful. Content for women over 40 who were figuring out this "what now?" stage of life. Women who didn't want to disappear just because they hit a certain age. Women who were asking the big questions about who they are and what comes next.
Her content was getting views. Real engagement. People were telling her she was inspiring.
But when it came time to "get serious" about her business, she felt pressure to make it more real. More solid. She needed something she could explain in one sentence.
So she changed direction.
She built a whole program for women going back to work after taking time off. Resume help. Interview prep. Job search strategy.
It made sense on paper. She had seven years of experience helping people with job skills. She could explain this offer easily. She could pitch it in an elevator.
But here's what happened: nothing.
Two launches. Almost no response. And a growing feeling of being let down that she knew better than to have, but couldn't shake.
When "Professional" Becomes Ignoring What's Working
When you leave behind what's working to chase what sounds more professional, you're not being strategic. You're ignoring the proof right in front of you.
Jennifer had the data. Over 500 views on her lifestyle videos. A Facebook audience that was almost all women her age. People messaging her saying her energy was inspiring. Comments about how she was a great example of someone over 60 who didn't think or look like "someone over 60."
Her audience was already there. Already engaged. Already telling her what they wanted.
But it didn't sound professional enough. It didn't fit the neat little box of "clear offer with easy-to-explain results."
So she ignored it.
And that's where so many of us get stuck.
We're taught that business success comes from having the right strategy, the right specific audience, the right framework. But nobody tells us that strategy without paying attention is just guessing with confidence.
The Real Problem: We're Looking at the Wrong Level
Most business advice works at what I call Level 1 of understanding your audience: the surface.
What can you give them? What's the change? What are the features and benefits?
Those aren't bad questions. But they're not where people make buying decisions.
Buying decisions happen three levels deep.
Let me show you what I mean using a tool I call the "3 So What's." I use this all the time with clients to get past the spinning and into real clarity.
This is the Iceberg Method in action.
Level 1: The Surface Problem
This is what people say they want. For Jennifer's women-going-back-to-work offer, it sounded like, "I need help with my resume and interview skills."
So what? What does that actually do for them?
Level 2: The Deeper Why
"It gives me confidence that I can go back to work. It proves I still have value. It helps me provide for my family."
Okay, we're getting warmer. But let's go one more layer.
So what? What does THAT really do for them?
Level 3: The 3 AM Thought
"It means I'm not invisible. I'm not washed up. I still matter. I can still create the life I want."
THAT'S where people buy.
Not at the resume level. Not even at the confidence level.
At the "Am I still relevant? Do I still matter? Can I still become who I want to be?" level.
And guess what?
Jennifer's original audience, women over 50 figuring out their next chapter, were already living in that Level 3 space.
That's why they were showing up for her content.
That's why her lifestyle videos about walking on the beach and building a dream life in New York were getting hundreds of views.
They didn't need a resume. They needed someone who could see them. Someone who was proof that "what now?" doesn't have to mean "what's left."
When You Trust What Your Audience Is Already Showing You
Here's what changed for Jennifer on that call:
She started looking at what was actually happening instead of what she thought should be happening.
She went back through her Facebook. Nearly everyone following her? Women her age.
The people engaging with her content? Women in their 40s and 50s.
The comments on her most popular videos? "You're so inspiring." "I needed to see this today." "How do you have so much energy?"
Her audience wasn't asking for job search help. They were asking for permission to keep becoming.
And once she saw that, really saw it, everything changed.
She didn't need to force a choice that felt professional. She just needed to trust the one who was already showing up.
The Shift: From Strategic to Paying Attention
This is the thing about human-first messaging: it doesn't start with your offer.
It starts with your person.
Not the person you think you should serve. Not the person who fits a neat framework. The person who is already there, already watching, already leaning in.
And when you get good at paying attention, really good at noticing what they're telling you through their engagement, their questions, their energy, you stop needing to be "strategic."
Because strategy that ignores proof isn't strategy. It's just noise.
This is what the Iceberg Effect teaches: how to look below the surface and understand your people at all three levels. Not just what they say they want, but what they're really looking for at 3 AM.
What This Means for You
If you're reading this and feeling that familiar twist in your gut, the one that says, "I think I've been doing this too," here's what I want you to think about:
What proof are you ignoring right now?
Where are people already showing up for you, but you're telling yourself it's not "professional" enough?
What content is getting the most engagement, even if it doesn't fit your business plan?
Who's actually in your audience versus who you think should be there?
Because here's the truth: your people are already telling you everything you need to know. The engagement patterns. The comments. The DMs. The content that works versus the content that doesn't.
You don't need another survey. You don't need to hire someone to tell you who your ideal client is.
You just need to stop ignoring what's already working because it doesn't sound professional enough.
The Invitation
Your message isn't broken. Your audience isn't wrong. You're just looking at the wrong level.
You're trying to be strategic when what you really need is to pay attention.
And once you learn to see what your people are actually showing you? Once you learn to go three levels deep and speak to the real truth they're living in?
That's when everything shifts.
That's when your content starts landing. When your launches feel less like pushing and more like inviting. When your words finally sound like you and reach the people who need to hear them.
Because connection, real, deep, human connection, always converts.
You just have to know where to look.
Want to learn the Iceberg Effect?
I created a guide that walks you through all three levels of audience understanding. It's called the Iceberg Effect, and it shows you exactly how to move past surface-level messaging and speak to what your people are really feeling at 3 AM.
No more guessing. No more following formulas that don't fit. Just a clear framework for understanding your people deeply enough that your words finally land.
